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Personal Power stems from healthy self-esteem. When we recognise and embrace our talents and resources... and we feel good about ourselves, we have taken the first steps toward realising our full potential. Remember "Change is inevitable, personal growth is optional".


Fill Other People’s Buckets

By admin

We should never underestimate the impact that we have on others… good or bad. This metaphor from the book by Donald Clifton and Tom Rath, ‘How Full Is Your Bucket’ illustrates the simplicity human interaction: We’re all buckets of water and in¬† every single interaction we have with other human beings, we are either filling their buckets or taking water out of their buckets.

The idea is that our words, actions and attitudes either add or remove water from the buckets of others. When our actions are positive, supportive and appreciative, we are adding water to their buckets. When we are acting in a negative, combative and argumentative way, we are taking water from the their buckets.

Appreciate people on a regular basis

We should strive to fill other people’s buckets by upgrading our words and learning to deliver genuine feedback whenever we get the chance. A study by the US Department of Labor showed that 64% of people leave their jobs because of lack of appreciation and a study revealed that 65% of people say they receive no praise or recognition in the workplace. How easy could it be to reverse those trends?

So all we need to do is to decide to take action by showing our appreciation of people on a regular basis… whether they are family, friends, colleagues or employees. Of equal importance is taking the time to write a note to someone who has helped in the past to remind them of how they have impacted your life.

Acknowledge the good stuff… regularly

People need to be acknowledged regularly for positive things. According to the psychology experts, small, positive interactions are very important. Researcher John Gottman suggests that there is a ‘magic ratio’ that we should follow: 5:1 or five positive interactions for each negative interaction.

The lesson is very clear… people have a real need for regular feedback regarding the things they are doing right. If they are only acknowledged when they make mistakes, they will feel that they are not being acknowledged at all. More than likely¬†this explains the workplace statistics shared in the previous insight.

We can ask people how they want to be acknowledged. All too often we assume that we know what people want because we know what we want and we believe they must want the same things. While it may be awkward the first time you do it, the suggestion of asking before acknowledging is a powerful action that should be considered.

Manage your mindset

One of the most important, but often overlooked, dimensions of success for the small business owner or entrepreneur is managing your mindset. We all have an inner critic that gets in our way from time to time. Like the little creatures in the movie Gremlins, this critic come out and wreaks havoc on our thinking from time to time. Usually at precisely the time when we don’t need it.

Focus on the good stuff

If we focus on the good stuff negativity takes a back seat, helping us to keep our mind focused on what is possible and allowing us to take your businesses to the next level.

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Categories : Personal Growth


  1. Hi John,
    How wonderful to see your blog expanding! This post is delightful and rings so true. I have long respected John Gottman’s work and was pleased to see your reference to him. That 5:1 ratio is indeed the magic formula for strong relationships!

    Keep the writing coming, John! :)
    Mary Lou
    Mary Lou Kayser recently posted..Why You Should Listen to Huck FinnMy ComLuv Profile

  2. Thanks for the great post. Easy to slip into ‘just fix it” mode. Thanks

  3. These are good points John. Filling other people’s buckets is a good way to look at giving value to others. And, focusing on the good stuff or feeling good feels much much better!
    Julieanne van Zyl recently posted..So many Birthday Wishes at FacebookMy ComLuv Profile

  4. Hi John,
    Yes the world would be a better place if we all just focused on filling other people’s buckets. Thanks for the reminder about appreciation, it is free and it is simple but it can have such a profound impact on people’s lives.
    Deirdre Rutherford recently posted..7 Steps To Extraordinary ConfidenceMy ComLuv Profile

  5. This is wonderful information John and I like that you included your sources to back it up. Being thankful or appreciative of people and letting them know it is such a simple, necessary thing to do, yet so many people don’t bother. Thank you for sharing this — I’m going to print it & put it on my wall!

    Karla Setchel

  6. Dena-Lynn says:

    How right you are, John. Positive acknowledgment and praise are so uplifting and create an environment for continued positive interactions and growth with confidence. It certainly has that effect on me so in following the golden rule I make it my business to do unto others… You have a great blog with an extremely important message. Thank you :)
    Dena-Lynn recently posted..Persistence- The Make or Break of EntrepreneurshipMy ComLuv Profile

  7. Arlan Murata says:

    Hi John: Appreciate your post. Think good thoughts of everyone is great for your wellness, too. Let’s fill buckets of others full of good thoughts. Thanks for the post.

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