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Personal Power stems from healthy self-esteem. When we recognise and embrace our talents and resources... and we feel good about ourselves, we have taken the first steps toward realising our full potential. Remember "Change is inevitable, personal growth is optional".

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Oct
18

Choosing Power

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“There is no certainty; there is only adventure” – Roberto Assagioli.

The fear of losing control usually creates stress. The late Italian psychoanalyst, Roberto Assagioli, the founder of the psychological method Psychosynthesis, Psychology with a Soul, described an example of maintaining control despite adversity. In 1938 he was imprisoned by the fascists in Italy for his unpopular political beliefs. Deprived of his liberty, Assagioli described how he discovered freedom in acceptance, despite living in what appeared to be a powerless state.

“I realised I was free to take one of many attitudes toward the situation, to give one value or another to it, to utilise it in one way or another. I could rebel inwardly and curse; or I could submit passively, vegetating; or I could indulge in the unwholesome pleasure of self-pity and assume the martyr’s role; or I could take the situation in a sporting way and with a sense of humor, considering it as a novel and interesting experience… I could make of it a rest cure or a period of intense thinking, either about personal matters… reviewing my past life and pondering on it… or about scientific and philosophical problems; or I could take advantage of the situation to undertake personal psychological training; or, finally, I could make it into a spiritual retreat. I had the clear, pure perception that this was entirely my own affair; that I was free to choose any or several of these attitudes.”  – Roberto Assagioli, ‘Freedom in Jail’

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia:Roberto Assagioli
“Roberto Assagioli (Venice, February 27, 1888 – Capolona d’Arezzo, August 23, 1974) was an Italian psychologist, humanist, and visionary. Assagioli founded the psychological movement known as psychosynthesis, which is still being developed today by therapists, and psychologists, who practice his technique. His work in the field of psychology concentrated on spiritual needs, pertaining to the will and Ego.”

Personal power… it’s your choice

Freedom of choice can also work counterproductively. Choosing to dwell on fearful thoughts can actually limit possibilities. Dwelling on lack, what you believe you cannot do, difficult environments, past hurts… or choosing to rise above them. Its important to choose carefully and wisely.

Personal power through respect

Manipulation is just another form of aggression… if you attempt to manipulate, you deny that person respect. Any wise observer will see your actions as lacking personal power. Instead, if you display a strong sense of self worth and appreciate the worth of those around you won’t choose this unrewarding strategy.

When you recognise your responsibilities to others and therefore show awareness and compassion, you will exhibit true personal power. Clearly state your intentions, express honest feelings, respect the feelings and needs of others… these assertive transactions are evidence true personal power.

“Without forgiveness life is governed by… an endless cycle of resentment and retaliation” – Roberto Assagioli.

Compassionate honesty

If you are called upon to be the bearer of bad news, a message that is out of your control, you can and should exercise control over how you deliver the information. Candid, but compassionate honesty will usually soften the blow as well as a consideration of when and where you choose to convey the message. Practical support free from any personal bias or just allowing them some think time can help the healing process… whatever seems to be appropriate.

If you must criticise, be constructive and to the point. Ask for feedback. Take ownership of the statements you make. Preface them with “I …………..”, rather that making impersonal and abstract statements. Be firm but considerate. Would you prefer allies or enemies? The answer to this question should influence your attitude.

How do you react to criticism? Do you learn from constructive criticism? If you honestly believe the criticism is genuinely misplaced or relies on factual errors, make your point politely, simply and if possible suggest how to fix it. Never enter into a tit-for-tat argument… that’s not evidence of personal power.

If a critical confrontation is imminent, prepare yourself. Consider the issues and what you think may be said, from minor criticism to to the worst possible attack. You may even want to rehearse your responses. If you exercise control and awareness, your personal power will remain undiminished.

The golden rule: Treat others as you wish to be treated

Assertive behavior is not learnt overnight. Engage in the practice of self monitoring your dealings with people and make every effort to act with clarity and dignity. As often as you can, treat others as you would like them to treat you. You will reap the rewards.

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Categories : General
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